Xianggong, Please Divorce Me!

Ch. 22: Untitled

TL’ed by snowflake_obsidian

Edited by Xia

[1] 柳下惠; Liu Xia Hui was an ancient politician who among various things was known for his virtue and self-control. Reportedly there was an incident where a woman threw herself into his embrace with the episode ended with his moral characters unscathed.

[2] Green hat; there are varying stories about this. The one I encounter most often is about a wife who gave her husband a green hat to wear whenever he left town on business.  As the husband walked through the village to leave, the green hat would be seen by her lover and let him know that he could visit her.

Ch 22 – Untitled

By the time Song Shi An finished washing up and came out, Su Tang had previously bundled herself up tight in the blanket as a way to deal (with him). The dragon button on (her) clothes, could be said to be securely fastened.

The maid servants had withdrawn earlier and the room had just 2 people left. The atmosphere couldn’t help but be somewhat awkward.

Song Shi An drew open the quilt on the bed.  Su Tang was thoroughly tense, moved away toward the side edge, and afterwards bound herself tightly and didn’t move. Song Shi An also didn’t dare move. He involuntarily suspected that the little emperor again secretly did an underhanded trick.  Otherwise why whenever he was by himself with this woman did he always have an indescribably dry tongue and mouth, and indulged in wild dreams?

The candle flame was extinguished, voices were still, faintly smelled cool incense in the entire room, and hear the indistinct sound of 2 people’s shallow breathing.

As a matter of fact if it weren’t for choking back difficulties, Su Tang completely wouldn’t be able to breathe. Her open eyes stared, fixed on the thin silk curtain, no drowsiness at all, just the body absolutely motionless, feeling the time very slowly passing. She became aware that the person sharing the bed hadn’t stirred for quite a while.  She couldn’t help but incline her head to take a casual glance and saw Song Shi An laying down with eyes closed, seemingly asleep.

Su Tang curled her lips in disbelief, thinking in her heart that cold noodles still was really able to sleep. A beautiful woman at his side and he unexpectedly was absolutely still. Indeed, really is a comparison to Liu Xia Hui [1] who was unmoved by the enticement of a beautiful woman throwing herself into his arms! However you being able to sleep is like forever departing from the world, (but this) old mother is going through sheer hell!

Su Tang made a face after that light bulb went on. In any case she shared a bed with cold noodles and could justify herself to lao taitai.  Then she’ll go to sleep with Xi Que and then sneak back tomorrow morning. That way nobody would know!

Ah, ha, ha, I am really clever!

Thinking of this, she just wanted to do it. With the greatest care, Su Tang lifted the quilt and gingerly got up. Gee, if (they) don’t see (then they) won’t know.  She looked and was startled. A person could be stuffed in between the distance from her to cold noodles. However there was also a problem; cold noodles was too close to the edge. To get out of bed, she had to crawl across his body, and there wasn’t a place to set down her foot. If she wasn’t careful then would bump….sniff, sniff, creeping across a bed is also a life skill!

Su Tang’s eye swept a circle and finally found a place to place her foot. She accordingly stared at the exact target and began to move. First she assumed a kneeling creeping posture, after that the right foot stepped, stretched across cold noodles body, to find the precise spot for the foot…suddenly Su Tang perceived that something wasn’t right. Her posture now appeared to straddle cold noodles’ body?

Su Tang gave a shudder and looked towards cold noodles.  She hoped that he would continue to sleep like he had already departed from the world. But who knows.  She just started to lift her head and just saw cold noodles glistening bright  eyes….

Ah, ah, ah. Heaven’s, I want to flee!

Startled, her right foot slipped.  Just at the point of falling over, cold noodles hastily extended a hand and grabbed her. Su Tang’s center of gravity was off so her entire body was pulled, collapsing on him. Then, then, then….Song Shi An’s face turned green!


Silently Song Shi An took a breath and heavily said, “Where do you think you’re going?”

Su Tang didn’t answer and asked a question in reply, “You weren’t asleep just now?”

“Hmm!” Song Shi An grumpily responded. All along he wasn’t asleep. How could he sleep!

“Oh, ah, ah, I, that, I want to find Xi Que to sleep with. You were laying on the edge so I couldn’t fall sleep…. I was going to return early tomorrow morning so grandma won’t know.”  Giggle.

Song Shi An’s face became even more ugly.  “You think that you can, in the middle of the night, run to the maid servant’s room to sleep and grandma wouldn’t know?” You underestimate grandmother.

However Su Tang was completely earnest and said, “Yes, I believe this!”

Song Shi An choked.  He also didn’t wasn’t going to be wordy again with her.  Pulling her over, he tucked her into the quilt. “Gradually get used to this!” I lay at your side and you can’t sleep.  You lay at my side and I also can’t sleep!

Su Tang didn’t dare move, because at this very moment, she was tightly embraced in cold noodles arms!

Similarly, Song Shi An’s body also again tensed up, but still he very quickly pushed away the woman. After that she turned around so that her back faced him.  A raspy voice said, “Go to sleep.”

Even if choking to death, he wouldn’t pressure her, because he said that he wouldn’t touch her!

Su Tang’s chest was also rising and falling. She saw that Song Shi An turned around, and then dared to relax her breathing. Thinking a bit, she again spoke. “That, I heard that it’s very difficult for men to hold back. What about, what about….”

Song Shi An’s ears perked up.

Su Tang very earnestly proposed, “What about you go to Xi Yuan to find them, Ru Yi and….”

In an instant, Song Shi An died in action.

“Don’t bother!” Song Shi An coldly said.  Thinking of something, he turned his head around and narrowed his eyes.  “Who told you about men having difficulties holding back!”

Su Tang saw that his expression was not good and evasively stalled. “Yes that’s right.  Originally at Ping city, that degenerate, when bored he’d run over to harass me, said a big pile of obscene language….”

“Degenerate? Took liberties?” Hitting the danger signal, Song Shi An’s eyes became even more forceful.

Su Tang raised her eyebrows, said, “Naturally, I a young unmarried lady went out and did business keeping a shop. Inevitably these people around, however this was something that happened in the beginning.  Later this old lady had one person among those ruthlessly beat up, and afterwards they simply didn’t dare speak nonsense with me!” Hmm, because of this matter she also was crowned with the reputation of being “rude and unreasonable”.

The danger signal slowly disappeared. Song Shi An turned his head around, shut his eyes, and didn’t say anything.

However, some time passed. Su Tang thought this profound idea at the time, “Cold noodles is comparable to Liu Xia Hui [1]. Unmoved even by the enticement of a beautiful woman throwing herself at him.” Still cold noodles is not the equal of Liu Xia Hui.” Finally Song Shi An in suppressing his desire opened his mouth to speak.

“Xuan Zi really likes you.”

Su Tang was in the middle of letting her imagination roam. Hearing these words, she was stumped for words.  Then smiling she said, “I also really like myself.”

“Okay, so what do you want to say?” Su Tang turned her body around to squarely face him, an appearance of listening with respectful attention.

Song Shi An opened and closed his lips.  Eventually he said, “I will not treat you shabbily. Be good to him.”

Su Tang asked “And afterwards?” She blinked, attracting attention.

Song Shi An looked at her, his blood froze somewhat. “I was incorrect about the matter (earlier) today. Please bear with me.”

“Continue.” As before, Su Tang gently smiled.

Song Shi An wrinkled his eyebrows. What does this woman really want to say to him! Curbing his impatience, he heavily said, “Xuan Zi is a good kid, clever, sensible, just somewhat sensitive and antisocial. Originally in the military barracks he was somewhat better. He became more uncommunicative after coming to the manor, my grandmother is stern, no one to play with, servants differential ….

“Oh?” Su Tang shuffled her body.  Smiling she said, “Couldn’t it be that Xuan Zi’s habitual silence is from you?”

“….” Song Shi An’s expression was sharp-edged, then it became distracted as he meditated in silence for a long while.  He spoke. “Xuan Zi is not my son.”

An egg could be stuffed into Su Tang’s mouth.  “You, you, you, she, she gave you a green hat [2]?”

Song Shi An’s face darkened. “Wan Wan was a respectable woman.”

“Wan Wan?” Su Tang’s eyes emitted a glint of light.

“She is Xuan Zi’s birth mother.” Pausing a bit, Song Shi An again spoke.  “She was my senior sister, a fellow disciple.”

Fellow disciple and junior brother, that’s a common thing….uh no that’s not right,

Su Tang’s eyes opened wide. In astonishment, she asked, “You don’t mean to say Xuan Zi’s biological mother is that brave heroine general Wan, who was good at fighting and the equal of men!”

General Wan, Song country’s famous general and also the country’s first woman general. In her youth she disguised as a man and entered the military camp. She surpassed others, from a little odd-job man she became an important general, courage, extremely strong martial arts skills, extraordinary intelligence. She several times gave Yan country brilliant military successes in large-scale battles, shocking the world’s people and(earning) their esteem and admiration.

This preeminent woman, in Su Tang’s youth, was revered as god’s protagonist.  This let Su Tang broadcast the fierce mentality of “Who said girls are not equal to boys”!


Seeing Song Shi An acquiesce, Su Tang said, “How did General Wan come to give birth to Xuan Zi?!” This type of legend was always away fighting, year in and year out. How could there be time to bear and raise a child. Su Tang never heard that she got married, to say nothing of, 4 years ago gave birth to Xuan Zi.  At that time the Song and Yan countries diplomatic relations were intoxicated with fighting. General Wan at that time just dauntlessly battled the enemy. How could she have a 10-month pregnancy and in due course give birth to a child. She couldn’t have a 10 month pregnancy on horseback!

Su Tang felt layers upon layers of uncertainty. Song Shi An however didn’t say anything. Su Tang sensed his reticence, and by degrees great waves in her heart began to billow.  She thought this probably is a not particularly happy recollection.

That memory truly made people feel heavy. General Wan was ambitious and aggressive, with superior capabilities. Even if she was the weaker sex, she still headlong rushed in the battle field.  No one dared to look down upon her. She looked scornfully on war lords vying for supremacy and enjoyed a carefree life in the world with contempt for conventions, her brilliance drowning everyone. However, in the winter of the year that she turned 26, everything completely changed.

An ambush of 10,000 troops befell Song Shi An and she came to the rescue only having 100 troops on horses. In the end, Song Shi An had to flee. However she was hit by an arrow and fell down a cliff along with her life and death friend, an elegant general who was gentle and polite in peacetime.

Song Shi An finally found them, 6-months later. At that time, her belly was already bulging. The person was completely different than before.

After taking them back to camp, Yan country once again stirred up the chaos of war. Regardless, General Wan wouldn’t stop.  She mounted her horse, directed the troops and conducted operations. And as well, that assistant general more or less followed. Except that one battle, General Han went out and wasn’t able to return. Henceforth, General Wan began to fall apart. She went to the front line to fight at close quarters, seemingly crazy. She pledged to exterminate the northern traitors. But at that time, she had already delivered and was nearly exhausted

Song Shi An was afraid that the enemy troops would learn (about her situation) and take advantage.  They had hidden the truth of General Wan’s pregnancy, and that she had now delivered was bundled up air-tight. In the end she smoothly gave birth to a baby boy, but was in danger of hemorrhaging to death.

Her body hadn’t recovered. Even if she took up the job to get on a horse to meet the enemy head-on, who could stop her. Despite the baby in swaddling clothes, she whole heartedly wanted to reciprocate, slaughter the enemy who killed her husband. In the end, the person died with her hatred unavenged.

Dying, she grabbed Song Shi An’s hand and left 2 items.  Avenge us, defeat Yan country and recover lost territory! Take good care of Han Xuan for us!

Han, the surname of the assistant general.  Xuan, Xuan city, the place where they depended on each other and loved each other after meeting with misfortune.

Because of these two, because of General Wan’s grace in rescuing him, because of the brotherhood with that assistant general, Song Shi An took Xuan Zi in as his own child and all along wanted to utterly defeat Yan country!

Song Shi Ani kept in mind those friendly relations. His heart merely felt heavy. Seeing the woman at his side still watching him with her face having a look of complete expectation, he pursed his mouth saying, “I have life saving gratitiude toward Wan Wan, and Xuan Zi’s biological father was my good friend for many years. The two were both orphans and now both are deceased. Very pitiful, Xuan Zi has no one to rely on.  Grandmother…. without a doubt, Wan Wan contradicted grandmother several times. Grandmother doesn’t like her very much. Since she is linked together with Xuan Zi…. apart from me, Xuan Zi doesn’t have anybody in this manor that he’s close with. Now he likes you, which couldn’t be better. Therefore, I request that you take good care of him.

This recounting couldn’t have been more sincere. It simply was unlike cold noodles to say that.

But Su Tang couldn’t help casting a sideways glance. However, she still nodded her head and said, “Relax, I’ll take good care of Xuan Zi.” Regardless of whose child Xuan Zi is, she’ll totally take care of him. Where she was afraid was that after a month she’d leave them manor….uh, when the time comes to leave can she still look after him?

Thinking of something, Su Tang again inquired, “Then does Xuan Zi know that you are not his biological father?”

Song Shi An thought a bit and responded, “Shouldn’t know, no one told him.”

Su Tang spoke, “Oh, we can’t let him know.  Young children simply want a happy time growing up”

Not knowing what she was thinking, Song Shi An turned his head around to look at Su Tang. hearing her speak that conscientiously and honest, he unexpected felt this woman was not that disagreeable.

After a while, he saw the hesitation in Su Tangs’ eyes and stated, “I hope you can regard Xuan Zi as your own.”

“?” Su Tang’s mind was in a fog due to his sudden and unexpected sentence.

After a long time, Song Shi An explained, “Because afterwards we’ll have our own children.”

“…???!!!” Su Tang’s face was red, then white, then red again.  She finally roared back, “Who’s going to have a child with you! Don’t forget that I want a divorce in a month!”

“Ah, ah, ah! Who wants to bear a baby cold noodles for you, this pan of cold noodles!”

“Ah, ah, ah! You mistakenly think this old woman will give you a baby cold noodles and abuse Xuan Zi!”


Looking at the highest point of the thin silk curtain, Song Shi An did his utmost to restrain his fury.  Why did he just a moment ago feel that this woman was not that loathsome?!


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18 thoughts on “Ch. 22: Untitled

  1. You, you, you, she, she gave you a green hat .—-> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I’m dead! Bwahahahaha!

    Ah, ah, ah! Who wants to bear a small cold noodles for you, this pan of cold noodles! –> Baby noodles. Sound delicious. (^○^)

    Liked by 5 people

  2. Lol 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣 will they now ban cold noodles in the residence too?🤔🍲🙅‍♀️🙅‍♂️

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh…I’ve been waiting for so long…thank you so much for the chapter! I love Su Tang and her wit and sense of humour. By the way, “cold noodles” could be a play of the two words which sound the same: face and noodles. I can’t read Chinese but I understand a little bit.
    Looking forward to more chapters soon. Thanks for the wonderful translation. Very well done! I have reread this story (up to present chapter) a couple of times! Really enjoyable!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Same here. Long wait but satisfying chapter. Just read 122 chapters of ‘wife I’m the baby’s father’. Was wondering if I should drink bleach to erase that novel from my mind. But thankfully snowflake update saved me the trouble =…=

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Hahahahahaha I’ve read that novel tooo and I have forgotten about it til you mentioned it.

        Don’t worry, you won’t need bleach for it. Lots of better novels have been translated now including this one~ 😉

        Liked by 1 person

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